Hate but Love, Temari style
by SoraSaki
Summary: Temari hates a lot of stuff. Naturally. But why is Shikamaru connected to most of them? I wonder. . Rated M for swearing and occasional provocative content.
1. Chapter 1

**ShikaTema**

**Author's Note**

Hey readers

Just to let you know, this story is going to a set of 26 oneshots, based around the things Temari hates. I might have a few shorts in one chapter. It depends on my mood. This is SHIKATEMA. Also, the entries are going to be short; about a page or so long on word. I'll update when I have time, and this is not a big project, just something to write when all my other stories are being stubborn. Enjoy!

***Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or ShikaTema***

**A: Alarm clocks**

Temari hates alarm clocks.

Temari hates the way alarm clocks look, all shiny and colourful. Temari hates bright colours. They're so unnatural, clearly not produced by the earth. Temari thinks looking at her alarm clock is like looking at Ino. At a first glance, both look so pretty and new. But after scraping off layer after layer, scraping off makeup and jewelry and accessories, both are reduced to nothing. Both are simple and if you try long enough, it's pretty easy to figure out how they tick.

Temari hates the way alarm clocks smell; cheap. Being the Kazekage's sister and a Jounin herself, Temari feels she should have enough money to buy herself an alarm clock that doesn't smell cheap. Alas, she has yet to find one. This irks her the most because she can do anything about this smelly dilemma. She feels helpless. And Temari hates feeling helpless.

Temari hates the way alarm clocks feel, greasy and slimy. Touching an alarm clock reminds her of touching her hair back in the day, greasy and slimy. Temari was never much of a Barbie girl as a child. However, now Temari is pleased to say her hair does NOT feel like an alarm clock. Thank Kami.

Temari hates the way alarm clocks taste. No, she has never actually tasted one. Even Temari is to chicken to lather her tongue over an inanimate object that she, to be frank, hates. But Temari is a smart girl. She assumes that something that looks so horrible, smells so horrible and feels so horrible can't in any possible way taste good. However, it irks to not to know for sure.

Temari hates the way alarm clocks sound. Honestly, doesn't everybody? The shrill scream it makes when it hits a certain time is aggravating enough to wake the dead. What does it want, a prize? Really now. And if all that wasn't enough, Temari hates the incessant tick it makes every second. Forget getting up on time; how was she ever going to get to SLEEP!

Temari hates alarm clocks. Funny enough, she knows someone who detests them more. Shikamaru Nara, her favourite (only) guide. The legendary laze would most probably be asleep right now. Not fair, so not fair. Temari smirks. She only smirks when she has an evil idea.

…

Moments later Temari stood in the middle of the young Nara's room, with Shikamaru himself snoring quite loudly. It was pretty easy to get in. SHE WAS A FRIGIN JOUNIN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Oh, and Shikamaru was much too lazy to set up any traps.

Temari quickly set up her alarm clock and placed it beside Shikamaru's head.

_3_

She stepped back and settled comfortably on the floor.

_2_

Shikamaru shifted slightly in his sleep.

_1_

_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" Screamed Shikamaru as Temari laughed vibrantly.

That night Temari decided she doesn't hate alarm clocks _that_ much.

**The End**

**Author's note**

Hate it? Love it? Let me know.


	2. B Brothers

**B: Brothers**

Temari hates brothers. Specifically, she hates _her_ brothers. Growing up, they stole all her thunder. Sure one was funny, incredibly skilled, and had an unhealthy obsession over purple make-up and sure the other was a monstrous psychopath with not a trace of an eyebrow. Sure they both got into different types of trouble at different times of the day and sure she was the only quiet, manageable one. But did any of this mean that they deserved more than she? If anything, _she_ deserved more! Having to put up with the kid that took her mother's life, raising him as if he was her own (she was only 4, no way could it have been her own), and following along as he killed every little thing that looked at him the wrong way clearly wasn't enough. The Devil also gave her an over protective, perverted freak, who wore freaking make-up by CHOICE, as a brother. Clearly something was wrong. Clearly.

Temari never had a boyfriend. Growing up, boys tended to stay away from her. It's not that she looked bad (sure as hell wasn't that). It wasn't that she smelled bad (there is NOTHING wrong with smelling like sweat and blood). It wasn't that she acted badly (just because she beat up boys for the fun of it does not mean that she was cruel or even mean). No it was because of her brothers. Her family was well known in Suna. Everyone knew that Gaara had a demon locked inside him. Everyone knew Konkuro 'played with puppets'. Everyone knew to stay away from Temari. This was because of her brothers, Temari insisted. There was nothing wrong with her.

Then Temari went to Konoha to compete in the Chunnin exams. After the initial kill-everything-in-sight phase, the sand siblings began making friends. Gaara developed an I-actually-don't-hate-you friendship with anyone even slightly close to Naruto Uzumaki. Konkuro went after Tenten, who just couldn't seem to convince him she was taken. Temari met an idiot. A lazy idiot (who just happened to be a genius). Temari was confused, very confused. The idiot seemed to like the oddness of her brothers. Instead of repelling away from them, he seemed to be pulled in. Odd.

Her brothers unintentionally reeled him in for her. It was then she started to appreciate her brothers. It was then she actually met Shikamaru Nara.

**Authors Note**

Hey.

This chapter was a bit difficult for me to write. But I think the others will be better.  
Keep reading.

Peace


	3. C Cigarettes

**C: Cigarettes**

Temari hates cigarettes.

Temari hate the way cigarettes smell, horrible, like breathing in nail polish remover, tar, and burning leaves all at once. The smell makes Temari feel sick. And it takes a lot to make tough as nails Temari feel sick.

Temari hates the way cigarettes look, disgusting, like tiny cylinders of dust. Dust. Disgusting.

Temari hates the way cigarettes sound, horrible. After a person takes a puff from one of those cancer sticks, they start coughing…and coughing…and coughing. And coughing. At first Temari felt pity for them (Temari, pities. Wow) but now she just gets irked. Must they disturb her peace?

Temari hates the way cigarettes taste. It's tastes dirty and burns her mouth. The thickness of it suffocates her even after letting out the smoke. How does Temari know what they taste like? From her teen rebel years. She would always smoke. But she quit. Temari realized that smoking is soft. If she's gonna try to play the "bad girl" role, she might as well go all the way and do drugs. However, Temari was never in the mood for drugs.

Temari also hates the way cigarettes feel. Well, actually she doesn't. But she hates the way the smell, look, sound, and taste so she figures she might as well hate how they feel too.

Temari hates cigarettes. But at the same time, she doesn't.

Temari loves the way cigarettes smell, because they smell like Shikamaru. When she smells a cigarette, she feels like Shikamaru is with her. Sometimes he is.

Temari loves the way cigarettes look, almost serene, clutched between Shikamaru's fingers or held between his lips.

Temari loves the way they taste, on Shikamaru's lips and in his mouth: soft, sweet, and perfect.

So Temari decides she doesn't hate cigarettes. She decides she actually might like them. But only because she likes Shikamaru more than she used to hate cigarettes.


	4. D: Doors

**D: Doors**

Temari hates doors. They're so rude and exclusive. Being the spokeswoman for rude and exclusive you'd think Temari would _love_ the company of a well furnished door. But she never did.

As a child, Temari had one memory of her father. It was when her mother was giving birth. Deafening screams echoed through the empty hospital hallways. And Temari, only 3 years old at the time, quivered in front of the door to the birthing room. Just as she was about to knock, her father opened the door, as if sensing her presence. The Kazekage's face was hard, his eyes cold.

"She's fine," he said as he shut the door, shutting Temari out of her mother's life.

_She's fine._ For some reason, Temari believed him.

"She's fine," he had said. But she wasn't. She was _dying._ He lied, Temari realized much later, and shut the door in her face. Because people don't believe what they can't see. And doors help to cover the truth. It is said, the darkest of deeds occur behind closed doors.

And that's why Temari hates liars, because one separated her from her mother. And that's why she hates doors, because one helped.

In fact, she hates them so much that she took the liberty of unhinging her door. Now there is a huge rectangular gap separating, or not separating, the word from _her_ world.

As retarded as this may sound, honesty is the best policy.

Temari lived by this. But Shikamaru just _had _to ruin her perfect system. Damn him.

They were just in her room: making out, being young, having fun. Just as things began to get hot, they heard a noise coming from where Temari's door used to be.

On the ground was Kankuro, in hysterics. "I-I thought you were a l-lesbian!" he managed between laughs.

And it gets worse. Above him stood Gaara. His fists were clenched and his eyes flaring. "Must. Kill."

Fuck. It was then Temari realized that in _some_ situations, doors _might _prove beneficial. Damn straight.

**AN**

Hey

I think this was my favourite chapter to write so far.

Hope you enjoy.

=)

P.S.

Thanks to:

.Temari. .Killer. .Kunoichi.

Taang-more-than-an-orangedrink

Lilyflower-314

Big Paja

fanofanime

for notifying me of my uploading mistake. I was in a rush so I didn't have time to do a live preview as I usually do. So sorry!


	5. E: Eggplant

**A.N.**

Yeah. I know the foundation is the same as most of the other chapters, but I was really stuck on 'E'. Sorry if it seems stupid. Also, I know I took a lot of artistic license with the whole Ino thing, but it's how I think Temari feels.

**E: Eggplants**

Temari hates eggplants.

She hates the way they smell. Like nothing. Literally nothing. Orochimaru must of genetically engineered it like he did with Yamato or something. Frig!

Temari hates the way they look. Really, it's not the shape but the colour that irks her: purple with bruises all over. Like a girl who just can't quite get her make-up right. _Cough_ Ino_ cough._ Some parts create the illusion of perfection, while others unveil the ugly within. and honestly, a purple fruit? Faker than Ino. Speaking of Miss Bitch, purple just happens to be her favourite colour. Temari doesn't much care for Ino, so what Ino likes, Temari hates. So naturally, Temari hates purple. And anything that is purple. Eggplants are purple. Need anymore hints?

Temari also hates the way it sounds. _Eggplant._ Egg. Plant. The word itself is so misleading! Soon it'll have innocent, young, stupid children believing that eggs grow off trees. It's worse than television!

Temari also hates the way eggplants feel. Smooth on some parts, but squishy in other areas.

"Yo, Mr. Eggplant, didn't you hear? Squishy's the new disgusting."

But most of all, Temari hates the way eggplants taste: like nothing unless accessorized with truckloads of spices. It's like a basement drug house!

"Oh, just throw in any random thing until we make something that tastes halfway decent and is 100% bad for you. Don't worry. No one will notice."

So Temari hates eggplants. But as usual, Shikamaru just _had_ to punch a hole in her plans.

She was just sitting there, when she smelled it. The nothingness, blended with the smell of strawberries. His mother's shampoo. He's too lazy to go to the store and buy a new bottle. Like honey, the smell attracted the Queen Bee. As Temari turned around, she saw it on his lips. For some reason, it didn't look all that purple. Good sign. As she walked towards him she asked,

"Idiot! What's that on your face?"

He's way too lazy to answer in full sentences or even wipe the substance of his lips. "Lunch. Eggplant."

She smirked and leaned in, capturing his lips. His lips were cold, the eggplant hot. Oddly sensational. Then she pulled back a few millimeters and used her tongue to take the last of the eggplant.

"Not bad." she grinned.

And he smirked, understanding it all because, well, he was a genius. 


	6. F: Fathers

**F: Fathers**

Temari hates fathers.

She hates the way they sugarcoated, advertised as perfect, just like a fairytale. And we all know fairytales aren't real.

She hates the way the world creates a mold for fathers, describing them as supportive, caring, and loving.

She hates that the world expects every father to fit into that mold.

But most of all, she hates that her father doesn't fit. Into the mold that is.

Her father was never supportive.

When Temari told him she wanted to be a ninja, he had laughed in her face and sneered, "You? A _ninja_? You'd be lucky to get into the Suna Academy!"

_Very_ supportive.

Her father was never caring.

He _hated_ them all.

He hated Gaara because he was a "monster".

He hated Kankuro because he was a "freak".

But why Temari? She was his first born, his daughter. And that's exactly it. She was his daughter. She was a girl. Being born without an extra inch of meat on her lower body deemed her useless and worthless in the eyes of her father.

And forget love, he didn't even _like _her.

Temari's father wasn't supportive, caring or loving. If anything, he was evil, selfish, and power hungry.

It was this that led Temari to think that all fathers were cold, hard, bastards.

But then she met Shikamaru. And then she met Shikamaru's father. He wasn't evil, selfish, or power hungry.

In fact, he was supportive, caring and loving. He fit into the mold.

It was then Temari realized she didn't hate all fathers. Just hers.

**AN**

Well here it is.

It's a bit late because I haven't been that motivated. The lack of reviews is depressing.


	7. G: God

**AN**

Please note that this story is about how I believe Temari thinks/feels about God and being blonde. **Please do not feel offended****.** =)

**G: God**

Temari hates God.

This is because she believes God hates her. Temari realizes this sounds ludicrous but she begs you, or actually, _asks_ you (Temari does NOT beg) to see her perspective. God created everything and it seems absurd He would hate any one of his creations. It's like a man hating his child.

And that is exactly Temari's point.

Her father is a man. He "created" her (Shivers slither down her back whenever she thinks about it). But he hates her. He hates _all_ of his children.

So if a man can hate his children, why does God hating one of his creations sound so weird?

And that's not all.

If God doesn't hate her, why would he have taken her mother's life? What legitimate reason does He have for that? In which twisted world does separating a young girl from her mother comprehend as 'looking out for her best interests"?

Why didn't God give her friends? Maybe if she had people to cry to, people who would hug her, people who would insist she was incredible, she wouldn't be so rough. Maybe if she had friends, she wouldn't be so bitchy. Maybe if she had friends, she would actually be _happy_. But no. God wouldn't want that happening.

You know what, screw having friends. Why didn't God at least give her a boyfriend? Why didn't Temari ever have someone to love her, care for her, and make her feel wanted? Temari assumes this is because God was in a bad mood when he was engineering her face. He made her pretty, but not pretty enough to be girlfriend material. And guys insist on having gorgeous girlfriends to like, touch, and show off to their horny friends. God did not make Temari gorgeous.

But Temari could almost forgive God for these things.

Losing her mother made her stronger.

Not having friends made her tougher.

Not ever having a boyfriend made her less of a whore.

But _why_ oh fuck _why_, did God have to make her _blonde_?

It's bad enough that no one in the shinobi world respected her, all because she was a girl. (Yes. A couple of inches of meat on the lower body did make a fucking difference .) But blonde? In the world of shinobi, that's like wearing a huge sign that said "I'll sleep with you for information on my enemies". Sometimes, she thinks that the shinobi world is fucked.

So by now it's pretty obvious God hates her.

But Shikamaru. Fuck him. Why was he so smart?

By taking her mother's life, God had made her stronger. Shikamaru apparently likes strong girls. He wants to marry a girl stronger than him.

By never giving her friends, God made Temari tough. Shikamaru apparently finds her hard-as-nails personality amusing.

By not making her gorgeous, God made Temari exactly what Shikamaru wanted. An average girl.

And by making her hair blonde, or _gold _according to Shikamaru, God made her unique and special and "better than the rest", according to Shikamaru.

It was then Temari realized that God actually might want what's best for her. And because God sent her Shikamaru, she decided God didn't actually hate her. So she didn't hate God.

**AN**

Not my best work, but I tried. Still hope you enjoyed.

**Next Chapter; **H: Hurt


	8. H: Hurt

**AN**

**disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, ShikaTema, or the Hallmark Channel**

**H: Hurt**

Temari hates hurt. Specifically she hates _being_ hurt.

Temari really hates being hurt physically. It's not the pain, (Temari's a ninja. She can handle the pain) but the insult. The fact that some loser ACTUALLY managed to hit and hurt her is so infuriating! It makes her want to break something, preferably her adversary's neck. It infuriates her more when she can't. And it's even more infuriating when Nara has to save her ass. Temari has always had issues with pride.

And that's just one thing! The actual effect of being hurt is so much worse. Bleeding, broken bones, internal damage- she could deal with all of that. But bruises really just piss her off. Temari doesn't actually know _why_, but she assumes it's because of the colour. Purple: the same purple as Ino's impractical ninja attire. Blue: similar to Ino's eyes. And yellow: resembling Ino's too blonde to be blonde hair. Call her crazy, but Temari is not too fond of having a visual blob of Ino implanted onto her skin. Ino: Shikamaru's childhood friend. The girl who knows Shikamaru as well as Temari does. The girl who is jaw dropping gorgeous. The girl who could make Shikamaru fall head under heels for her. The girl Temari hates. So you know what? Temari doesn't give two shits if you think she's crazy. She doesn't want to see Ino bitch anywhere on her body.

And all that's just the physical hurt. The emotional hurt is so much worse. As Yashamaru (damn that bitch to hell) once said, emotional pain never goes away.

Like Temari's first (sort of) boyfriend. He made her love him. He made her sleep with him. He made her hate him. Sure she beat the living crap out of him later, but there's still something about _being cheated on_ that never goes away. It is things like this that make Temari shut up. It is things like her mother's death that make her cry. Maybe if her mother wasn't so incredible, it wouldn't hurt so badly. But her mother was perfect: everything the Hallmark Channel said she should be. When Temari thinks of her mother, she starts crying. Not _actual_ crying, but Temari crying. Her eyes swell up and get wet. But tears don't fall. They never fall. There is always an invisible wall stopping the tears from spilling out. Temari assumes this is her pride acting up again. She hates crying. It makes her feel vulnerable. But more than crying she hates it when Shikamaru sees her crying. She hates feeling weak.

…

But at the same time, she kind of likes it. Because when she cries, Shikamaru will plant a worried expression on his face, something Temari's not used to seeing. Then he'll speak softly, "I won't hurt you." He then holds her in a tight embrace. She feels like she can stay there forever.

That's when he says it. "I love you."

Her heart stops for a second and she forgets about her pride. Those three words really do make a difference.

**AN**

Yes, yes, I know. Very short chapter. But I'd rather write (and read) short pieces of magic than _pages_ and _pages_ and _pages_ of pure crap. =P


	9. I: Ino

**AN**

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a really long time! Schools a bitch x)

Anyways, I hope my comeback isn't too disappointing! Let me know what you think, alright?

Btw, tell me if you think there is too much profanity. I'll try to cut down on it.

Also, if you guys have any ideas for future chapters, let me know. I don't have any words picked out for **M, Q, R,** and** T.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or ShikaTema**

**I: Ino**

Temari hates Ino.

She hates the way Ino looks; ugly. Drop. Dead. Ugly. Words do not describe it.

Temari hates the way Ino smells; like flowers. Like stupid fucking flowers. Like stupid fucking flowers from her family's damn flower shop. If you ask Temari, flowers are a waste of money. They only end up dying.

Temari also hates the way Ino sounds; annoying, like a fucking alarm clock screeching inside your head: loud as hell, high pitched, and so damn sure of themselves.

And of course, Temari just hates the way Ino _is_: bitchy, cocky, and a slut.

But most of all, Temari hates the fact that Ino is actually none of the above. Temari was just bullshitting you.

Ino is not ugly. She is fucking jaw dropping gorgeous. Temari is not lesbian, but she is not stupid either. Only a stupid person wouldn't notice the way every guy (taken, single, young, or old) looks at her. Candy for the eyes, they probably think. It doesn't matter how unaffected Shikamaru was, he was still only a man.

Ino does, however, smell like flowers. But that that is not necessarily a bad thing. It is true that flowers only end up dying, but so do people. But people still go out of their way to love other people. People love people. People love flowers. In that sense, people love Ino. Wait, isn't Shikamaru a person? Yes he is. .

Ino does not sound like an alarm clock. Because Shikamaru just happens to _hate_ the way alarm clocks sound. He can't stand to be near them. He avoids alarm clocks at all costs. But for some reason, he _can_ stand to be near Ino. He has never—and will never—go out of his way to avoid her. And Temari is _positive _he doesn't hate the way Inosounds. If Temari didn't know better, she would think that he actually _liked_ her voice. But fortunately for Ino's face, Temari did know better.

And of course, Ino is not what Temari thinks she is. Ino is not bitchy; she speaks her mind. Ino is not cocky; she's confidant. Ino is not a slut; she just gets every guy she wants (except for Sasuke). It's funny—_hilarious _even_—_how Shikamaru was the one who told her all this. -_______-

Perhaps Temari wouldn't hate Ino as much as she did _if _the girl didn't spend so much time around Shikamaru. No, it's not what you think. Temari is not jealous. Temari does not get jealous. She merely finds it irritating that _the girl_ must be everywhere he is. At training (So what if they're on the same team? God knows Ino doesn't do anything), when he's walking home (Who cares if they live right next to each other. Ino could easy walk alone, or take a different route), and when he's on dates—er—_working_ with her (Temari doesn't give a shit if Ichiraku Ramen is popular. Ino barely eats. So why the hell would she go to a ramen store?).

Fact of the matter is Temari just doesn't like Ino. Temari thinks that no matter how beautiful Ino looks, sounds and smells or how bitchy, cocky or slutty she isn't, Ino will never fall in love. And evidently, never leave Shikamaru alone.

But Temari was wrong.

And even though Temari could _murder_ someone for disproving her, when she saw Ino kissing the Inuzuka boy, several months later, clearly in love, Temari couldn't help but hate the girl a little less.

**Author's Note**

So basically I want to thank all the people who have been reviewing this story. Just gonna let you know that even though I don't usually reply, I really appreciate the support. Oh, and that I'm going to try my hardest to update about every two weeks, or at least finish several chapters before the winter holidays are over.

Last but not least, someone without a Fanfiction account reviewed using the name "Nobody Special" a long time ago. They asked me to write more chapters like E: Eggplant. I didn't quite understand what you meant by "like E: Eggplant". Completely random nonsense? Or basically a crack fic? Add more intimacy? Let me know, and I'll do it.


End file.
